So far in our studies, we have talked about changes that we need to make in our lifestyle and way of thinking (selflessness and contentment) as well as the need to look inward for the source of our problems and not outward at others.  In this article, we want to look forgiveness and how the lack of forgiveness can cause great problems in our lives.  How does not forgiving affect a person?  What purpose does forgiveness serve and how can it help a person's life be free from trouble?  These are some of the questions we will hopefully answer as we study together.

The Problem

The problem of forgiveness is one of great magnitude but it often goes unnoticed in our lives.  We have all had times where someone has wronged us.  Regardless of severity, people do have a tendency not to forgive others (especially when it is not requested).  Think of the problems that occur when people fail to forgive.  Families have been torn apart because of a failure to forgive.  Life long friendships have been put to an end because of a failure to forgive.  I would not hesitate to suspect that most divorces are caused, in part, by a failure to forgive.  Christians and congregations have been split and separated because of a failure to forgive.  Wars have been started because of a failure to forgive.

All of this is terrible and causes people great trouble, anguish and strain in their lives.  However, there is an even greater problem found in failing to forgive.  If we fail to forgive, we can be guaranteed that God will not forgive us of our mistakes.  It is a hard lesson to comprehend.  After all, when we have not forgiven someone it is because we are in the right and they are in the wrong.  Not so, according to God's word, if we are not forgiving we are also in the wrong.  Let us examine a few passages.

Mark 11:25-26 KJVR And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. (26) But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:14-15 KJVR For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: (15) But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

So, we can clearly see that if we are not willing to forgive others, we will not be and should not expect to be forgiven of our sins.  This then is the problem of forgiveness.  It causes us trouble in our lives and trouble for eternity when we fail to forgive.

The Remedy

To remedy the problem, I believe it is first important to understand that our forgiveness is more for the forgiver than it is for the person who has done the wrong.  We have a tendency to think that we are punishing someone when we refuse to forgive them but we are really punishing ourselves needlessly.  Look at it from the other person's point of view.  Sure it is great to know that we have been forgiven by someone but it is not a necessity. If we have repented and the person refuses to forgive us, we must move on and realize that God will forgive us if we have truly repented.

1 John 1:9 KJVR If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

So, our forgiving someone is really for our own selves.  Our unwillingness to forgive has no impact on the other persons ability to have their wrong doing forgiven by God.  Think of the huge burden that we carry when we do not forgive.  The weight just gets heavier and heavier.  Anger and hate build to a point where our blood boils when we see the person or think of what they have done so many years ago.  This is not the way that we should be feeling.  To prove it, listen to what Christ says.

Matthew 11:28-30 KJVR Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (29) Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. (30) For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

The burden of not forgiving is heavy, not light.  It is an unnecessary weight that we needn't bear.  Not forgiving is mentally unhealthy, physically unhealthy and ultimately spiritually unhealthy.  We should just be willing to forgive.  This is the message that the Bible delivers numerous times.  (see 1 John 1:9, Matthew 6:14-15, Mark 11:25-26 from above)

Matthew 18:21-22 KJVR Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? (22) Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Jesus gives a good answer to Peter's question.  Even though it may be wearisome, we must be willing to forgive.  It may seem tough but we must be strong and be always be willing to forgive.  Both Christ and Stephen are great examples of forgiving in extreme circumstances.

Luke 23:34 KJVR Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

Acts 7:59-60 KJVR And they stoned Stephen, calling upon God, and saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. (60) And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

Can you imagine being crucified or being stoned to death and having the state of mind and the willingness to forgive the people who are killing you?  Many have failed to forgive for things insignificant compared to this.

Ultimately, the most powerful thing that can help us be willing to forgive is the true knowledge, understanding and receiving of God's forgiveness.  We need to understand that we are not perfect.  We are just as guilty as anyone else when it comes to sin.  When we receive the forgiveness of our sins from God it should prompt us to forgive.  Why should we hold a grudge against someone else when God has forgiven us?

1 John 1:8-10 KJVR If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. (9) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (10) If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

We should always be humble and remember that we are not without guilt.  God has forgiven us of our trespasses so we should be willing to forgive others.  Study the passage below about the power of God's forgiveness and our fate if we are not touched by it enough to be willing to forgive others.

• Mat 18:23-35

Conclusion

As we conclude this article, please keep in mind great risk involved in not forgiving others.  Remember as you live each day that your forgiveness to others is for yourself, God wants us to have the spirit of forgiveness in our lives as he has given us the gift of forgiveness of our sins.  I hope that this article has been helpful to you and encourage you keep studying as we have only one article left in this series.